Be the Author-ity of Your Life
One of the most bewildering experience while I was growing up is realizing that no one has any clue about Life. And that is not the problem. The problem is that everyone is pretending that they know it all, got it all, even when they are clueless about anything at all.
Everyone seem to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own. — Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist.
This creates false expectations, a false facade that we have to have our Life together at all times. Otherwise, people might frown upon us. And next, the fear-mongering shadow of shame might show up and engulf us. Our pride is more important than seeking help or support. We put on masks of denial upholding the ideal narrative of Life while crumbling within with self-judgment. Self-development became self-fixing.
Pain Destroys Limiting Narratives
I developed autoimmune skin condition when I was 7 years old. It was worsened when I was prescribed with heavy steroid medication. I was told I would have to be medicated my whole life. And that I have no choice. There is no other reality than this narrative.
My parents bought the narrative, the doctors bought this narrative, friends and family bought the narrative — yet I knew, all of them did this out of unawareness of the greater possibilities of Life. Everything outside of the context of that narrative is impossible and should not even be considered.
And I bought it too. It was not until the Truth of the situation is too painful for me to go on. It was inconvenient. It was lonesome. It was heartbreaking. I saw myself going against the authority of doctors. I saw myself arguing against the authority of my father. And to my greatest surprise, I saw myself disobeying spiritual healers and questioning messengers of God.
The pain of my physical suffering is nothing compare to the pain of being a social inconvenience to others. Ultimately, no pain is worse than being in complete denial that there is a greater possibility of healing that I have not discovered.
Pain is a great motivator and a great force of transformation. I set forth on a journey towards Truth which even required me to silence the compelling need to get rid of my disease. True healing comes when I understand the message of my pain.
So, don’t get rid of your pain. Befriend it, learn from it, let it teach you.
Stepping into Responsibility
What I have found — Answers cannot be found from an external source but found from an internal experience. Yet, the internal experience can only be present and embodied when witnessed from an external source. And if you ask me, “What is the most conducive external source?” It would be Nature. So I set forth on a personal pilgrimage to reconnect with Nature.
I learned from pain that in order to find true healing I have to step up and step in by taking responsibility for all my experiences. What happened was not my fault, but what happens from now is my responsibility. I learned, the quicker I surrender my self-righteousness, forgive, and surrender to the vastness of uncertainty, the quicker insights about the new possibilities emerge. I also learned to just take the leap of faith even when I don’t have all the answers. Most importantly, I learned that we cannot rush our healing.
And just like, I become the Author-ity of my Life.
Write to Discover
Ever heard of, ‘write to discover’? Rather than our scientific methods of observing before we put anything down on paper, writing to discover is another way of knowing — a method that draws insights from within.
To be an authority of your life is to first become the author of your life. You have to write to discover who you are and create new narratives of the world. This is the same as taking a leap of faith even when you don’t have all answers sorted out. There exists an intelligence within us that knows and when we allow space for that intelligence to emerge, we tap into the space of infinite possibilities. You’ll be surprise how one little idea can become an ordinary miracle.
We know about Fixed Mindset vs. Growth Mindset. It is thrown around a lot in optimal psychology, the sports arena, and the corporate world. And to pursue success, many of us are learning to shift from fixed mindset to growth mindset. This works in a confined close container where there are consistent rules, goals, and systems.
Yet, the problem is … Life does not work that way. Life is an open system where change is the only constant. And the human experience is learning to balance on the surfboard of Life. Until we begin to write our own rules of Life, we will get stuck in the limiting narratives of who we are and what the world is. We must get out of the fixed mindset and growth mindset because altogether, they come from narratives that are conditioned by a certain set of rules. This is limiting when Life starts to evolve and throw you curve balls.
Here is an example:
Fixed mindset: I continuously give in to taking medications my entire life.
Growth mindset: I continuously search for alternative healing my entire life.
Fixed and growth mindset put me in a narrative that I am forever broken, needs to be fixed, and had confined me in the rule that I would always be less than whole. The transformation comes in when I shift the narrative completely from fixed and growth mindset into self-authorship.
Self-authorship: “I am whole to begin with, there is nothing wrong with me. My physical symptoms are messengers to become the next best version of myself.”
Do you see how powerful stepping into self-authorship is?
Not only did I reclaim the sovereignty of my mind’s thoughts, my physical health eventually followed and is now thriving.
Now your turn.
Journaling Exercise
Here is the exercise I played with myself in my free writing journal. It is important to do this without over thinking and simply allow the first thought to guide you to the next thought.
How can I create myself?
How can I create others?
How can I create the world?
It is okay not to know. It is okay to be clueless. It is okay to be a fool.
When you don’t know — You are in the ripest, juiciest, yummiest moment.
It is The Beginner’s Mind — the Mind of Infinite Possibilities.
Write from a place of ‘I don’t know’ until you find your ‘I know.”
Then be willing to go back to ‘I don’t know’ again.
I am Chiron Yeng, your Human Potential Coach.
I serve purpose driven leaders who are suffering from burnout to thrive with exponential energy in their passion and career and experience the simply joys of Life. I believe when humanity starts to do so, the world becomes an enlightened and prosperous place.
For free coaching resources, schedule sessions with me, and more information, visit:
